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Have fun...
= THE REAL WIKIPEDIA SYNDROME =
You probably think you know what "The Wikipedia Syndrome" is... supposedly is
You want to know what this or that word means, you never heard "that one" before (though for the latter, you could also take a "number 2" and pass by the urban dictionary as it does a better job for a few things compared to wikipedia), but that is totally beside the point... so, you look up a word that went past by your keen intellect so far, you scroll through the wikipedia page and find a lot of other interesting topics to study.
I mean seriously, wikipedia is link-hell. Bi-cubic what? Mathematical functions? Cool I had that at college but I sure could use a refresher - click - hmm that picture looks interesting - click - uh the romans had this too? Let's have a look - click - and so on and so forth and before you reached the end of the one page you were looking at originally you have 20 to 30 other tabs or pages open with other wikipedia content you thought might be worth looking at. Needless to say, all of those new tabs again contain a numberless mass of highly interesting topic-links again in turn opening yet more (cess-)pools of information, all waiting for you to consume them (I say "consume" explicitely because I refuse the notion anyone would understand all the contents there, even if genuine interest of the reader is present). Of course, if you just keep reading on and on, and clicking on every (internal) wikipedia link, sooner or later you MUST end up on a page you already saw before. Obviously, wikipedia is finite, but even more obviously, it will take you your entire lifetime before you get to the point where pages keep linking only to content you have seen before. I'm not gonna even mention the fact that while you are reading one page, there are probably a few gazillion wikipedia authors logged in and active adding new content or editing existing articles... no no... not gonna mention that...
OKAY SO THIS IS THE WIKIPEDIA SYNDROME? THE ENDLESS INFO-LINKAGE ON THIS AND THAT OTHER TOPIC?
I got news for you...
It's not...
Well it is, maybe... but it's not _really_ the _real_ wikipedia syndrome, if you get my drift - prolly not, so just keep reading
Here's a question for you: do you know your way with PCs and operating systems? Well, mobile phones and all those other waste-of-the-material-they-are-made-of new gadgets aside, as you're reading this text and you're logged into facebook, there's a remote chance you at least own a PC (I will count laptops as such for the purpose of this post, I'm not really in a hair-splitting mood right now).
So who built and got that PC of yours up and running? Did you buy the pieces yourself and put them together? Did you install the OS yourself? Did you buy the whole thing with an OS preinstalled at a discounter? Did A FRIEND DO IT FOR YOU?
Well, here's my deal on it, I'm one of those FRIENDS WHO DID IT for some people, since I do know my way around hardware and networking (I used to work for a company that, among other things, set up NT desktop and server systems, building all the machines piece by piece and putting all the software on them, so that's where I come from...) I do frequently get asked by people to either fix something in their PCs, help them pick out some piece of hardware or generally give advice on security, networking and general setups. Questions about non-working networking in particular are usually very quickly resolved with "get rid of that stupid wireless LAN, drill a hole in the damn wall and use cables!" but that too is beside the point...
What is the point again? Oh yea right, the real wikipedia syndrome, and I'm a good friend fixing other folks' computers (sometimes) - so here I am getting a phone call... let's name the person calling me... hmm... let's call him "Douchebag" for this post today, shall we...
Douchebag: "Hey man, something is wrong with my comp again, wikipedia stopped working."
Me: "What's the exact error message you are getting?"
Douchebag: "Well uh... dunno... it said 'failed... something...' hey can you come over and have a look? I really need wikipedia you know..."
Me: "Sure thing, I'll be right over..."
So I pack my stuff, some diagnostic tools, a repair CD and a few other more or less useful things and make myself on my way. I mean seriously, Wikipedia is important! If Douchebag only wanted to go on surfing for porn - the original intent the internet was created with, buy more viagra or some other crap I'd prolly have said "screw you" and hung up, but WIKIPEDIA MAN, the near endless pool of valuable information on... pretty much everything (except Unreal 227 which even though proven to exist is denied by the moderators there which cannot be arsed to check out the proof themselves...) - can't have THAT not working now can we!??
So there I am. I check out his PC, he shows me a blank browser page, or nearly blank, showing some obscure error message. Re-opening the browser defaults to some page with an URL so large it doesn't fit on any 16:9 screen in whatever resolution, but I do get a glimpse at one of the referenced parameters in it as it says "areyou18yearsoldconfirmationcheck=true"... aha... doesn't look much like the usual wikipedia page to me but it's quite possible some content is deemed unsuitable for kids and old grannies which would justify an age check... I don't want to get ahead of myself here just yet as so far nothing is working anyway so let's start fixing...
I run the usual anti-virus, anti-malware, hijackthis, autoruns, rootkitrevealer etc crap, come to the conclusion that as usual, removing 500+ threats isn't really worth the time waiting for the damn softwares to finish so instead a reinstall (or better yet, a wipe with a backup that was done when the OS was fresh) is to be preferred due to speed.
In order to prevent future wipes and/or repair frenzies I would like to see what lead to this particular incident, though I - noob that I am - should have smelled an impossible task here. So I didn't even know WIKIPEDIA was all that important to Douchebag, last time I checked he was very much resistent if not immune to all things educational. But you know what they say about old dogs and new tricks, sometimes they actually DO learn em
Okay so that was what -I- didn't know, let's get to the part which -HE- didn't know. Myself, setup-dude that I am, had a little idea when I set up Douchebag's network originally. I was thinking, that if I had a log of recent activities, I might get a clue as to what happened and went wrong -IF- something ever went wrong. Like on that day obviously otherwise I wouldn't have been called... or if I did, for a different reason then (bag of English grammar anyone, btw?:-)) So anyway, where to put that log, since his PC might get the headcrash or some destructive malware on it that could probably take the log down along with the PC I thought at least the internet log should be elsewhere. That's why I setup a router there which logs recent activities by itself, filters out advertisement and virus checks the traffic too. Actually, I made it a non-transparent forced proxy, but details... details...
Anyhoo, I look up the last couple of http requests that had been issued and I am amazed. I have no doubt that whatever Douchebag told me was nothing but the truth. He had said to me that "Wikipedia stopped working" for him so obviously that must have been what he had tried to access last. So here's the news to me, that Wikipedia must have greatly expanded into other domains. I mean that literally into other "domains" because the URLs contained a lot of domains named similarly like russianwh0res dot com, youngp0rn dot net or dirty0ldman dot com. Since unarguably, Douchebag told me the complete truth about his surfing, I have to assume that Wikipedia did indeed acquire all these new domains, it probably makes a lot of sense too, if for example certain topics require so many showcases and details that a single page isn't enough, or 1000 pages... for such topics it is probably justified to register and use completely new domains for ease of finding all the related material. Also, I am absolutely certain that Russian whores can be very educational - I mean not that I have ever met one so far, but they could probably teach you Russian or how to drink Vodka properly. One of my favorite questions that do remain unanswered at this point would be "how to distinguish water from vodka just by looking at it from a distance" but I am digressing again... The idea that Douchebag might actually have been looking for non-Wikipedia related material is completely beyond me, what would the point be in lying to me, after all??
Aight so backup is restored to point "blank" and off he goes to get his favorites gets.
Me: "Hey man, I know when I originally set this computer up for you there was no Internet Explorer 8 yet, but... do you have to keep using IE6? I mean I sure -DID- install a Firefox and an Opera too to give you some alternatives that are more secure while browsing."
Douchebag: "Err uh what?"
I show him the (freshly updated) installs of both alternate browsers.
Douchebag: "Oh those... well... they kinda look... umm... like different, you know, the back button is round there and not edged, and the color is different, the location of the control, everything looks and feels different... I can't use this complicated stuff... has to be simple... look simple..."
I refrain from uttering the thought "...if you wanted to see something simple ever look in the mirror lately..." aloud at that point, but the effort required was almost too painful to bear.
I'm still not sure what to make of it all. On the one hand, Douchebag has obviously crossed the border of his limited horizon as he started exploring the vast richness of WIKIPEDIA yet he refuses to re-orient himself in a new browser, which altogether should be simpler to get going at than the hard (*cough*) study of near-omniscience.
One thing, however, that I can predict with relative certainty is, that I wasn't called to fix his PC for the last time.
MORALS FROM THIS LITTLE STORY:
- BACKUP your OS when it is fresh installed! One day, it's gonna save you time! LOTS!
- Don't ever trust whatever your "friends" tell you they did, they prolly didn't.
- Virus killers do NOT prevent users from downloading trojans...
- ... especially when they look like viagra pills
- You can't surf safe with IE6. Even M$ admits that and advises users to upgrade
Last but not least:
I HEREBY DO APOLOGIZE TO ALL RUSSIAN WHORES and anyone else who I may have inadvertently offended. It's not that I want to bring any particular point across with my little anecdotes, I just thought "it's that time again" for one. I mean no disrespect or harm to anyone, indeed (political criticism to which I am legally permitted following) while in Germany, the profession of a whore is legit and they DO PAY TAXES, these poor individuals are getting screwed (excuse the pun) when it comes to health insurance, as they usually do not get any insurance or "hazardous environment bonuses". I do understand if they keep your profession as opposed to going as cleaning personnel, because the pay in that area is even lower than ridiculous. Also, whores actively prevent inner-marriage-violence, abuse and rape, at potential risk to themselves.
Do you know any other job which is so unfair, altruistic and risky at the same time?
Kudos.
but nice and actually sad..