www.tcpclan.net

Oh that :p
Its always such hard work

Does this mean no?

Hey Van if you like I can give you his address to send him presents, bombs and other type of .... motivation

lol!

1 Year after the silly events. Everything finally calmed down and nothing changed..except for Taz, who
ran off with his virgins and camels to lead a better life as a hermit
in a mountain cave, eating worms and fungus. Everything could be peaceful and happy..But then there
wouldnt be another damn story.
One bright morning, the mad Wolf crashed into the main hall of the castle and started talking. Nobody was
there to listen, but he didnt mind. "Talking is good", he always said to himself, "maybe even as good as blackmailing
Cee into creating another shoddy piece of art". And while he kept talking and talking, the people slowly poured in
and got that "Oh damnit, its Wolf and no virgins" look on their faces, while slumping down on the floor to listen
.
"Hear, good TCPs ! I used my brilliant intellect to craft a spaceship to travel to distant worlds, exploring new cultures,
blast non believers into hell and back, destroy and murder..the usual. Now all we need is a crew of maybe 3-4 who will
be heroes if the ship explodes during takeoff or just mere astronauts if it doesnt. Who's in ?". Some startting whistling, some
looked around for a quick escape route, even considering to jump off the castle wall into the trench with the mutated shoelace monsters.
It was Drunk King Car who spoke first (he didnt take as much time as others to think of what to say).
"Wolf, thats a wonderful idea as usual. I am sure many will gladly participate in this...act..of..science..and forfeit
their dreams, hopes and maybe even lives for this one...thing..I will not, of course, since I'm the king and still needed.
I also havent paid my Bar debts yet, so I cant leave the castle. We could send Ramses.. Isnt he fond of travelling and meeting his ancestors ?
He could achieve both in one simple explo..I mean..ehehe..You know...He could have FUN". His eyes focussed on Ramses, who
tried to slip out of the door unnoticed.
"Ohh..yes.. It would be an honour, after running around with this mad woman that nearly killed everything in sight, to now get the chance
to get shot into space and even die in the process. Most splendid..It could only get better, if..". A booming voice interrupted his opinion on the matter.
A female booming voice. A voice so full of authority, that even the drunk king was sober for a second. "I WILL GO ! I'M SURE THERES A LOT MORE
TO BLOW UP AND DESTROY OUT THERE ! JUST RATTLE MY CAGE !! I'm with you, Ramses, but this time BE A MAN AND BLOW SOMETHING UP !".
"Oh joy, she will come along again. Now all is well, thank you very much." Van tried to hug him, but Ramses used his own fist to knock himself out, before
she could accidentally break some bones and ribs again.
"We shall also send the Xaver. Hes expendable and knows how to work the ships communication with his girlish voice.", said the King.
"No, I'm not going", was the Xavers simple reply.
"You will be executed if you refuse"
"I dont care"
"We will torture you and drain the life out of you..slowly...painfully.."
"I dont care"
"We will take your anime stuff"
"Alright, I'm in"
The Wolf cleared his throat. "Could we also send the Cee ? I always wanted him to use one of my inventions, ever since I sent him a stick mic which he never used, the ungrateful..".
The Cee raised his head, a ray of light surrounded him like a sign of God. Birds were chirping, flowers started sprouting out of the earth in front of his feet. He opened his mouth and with the voice of an Angel he said "GTFO", turned around and left.
"Yes...just try to leave...I will get you on that damn ship and if its the last thing I'll do.. Me...Me..Gehe..Hegeh..Meheh..I cant even laugh right, damnit.." And with those
thoughts of the Wolf, the story ends rather abruptely.. Is it because the Cee is already out of ideas again ? Is it because theres always more
talking than action ? Is it because the Champions League is about to start ? And is the Wolf really gonna shoot the Cee into space ? Who will take care
of the Xavers anime stuff while hes in space ? Will Ramses finally blow things up ? And will Van finally spread peace and happiness throughout the galaxy ? At least the
last question can already be answered... NO

Well its not really a story.. Somehow I'm better at writing prolonged conversations in English..Damn that lack of vocabulary
I should just get on ts and annoy you with dirty jokes over it, would be easier for everybody involved :O

But 4225 characters.. Thats more than what I used in my English essays in school :O

Thank you Cee!

Hey, great job again, man. I had to laugh a few times. Frank

}TCP{Cee wrote: "Oh damnit, its Wolf and no virgins"

I thought Wolf was a virgin? :poke:

disclaimer: If you can't pick on your friends well who else is there?


Nice one Cee. :hurray:

}TCP{Cee wrote:4225 characters.. Thats more than what I used in ...... school :O

me 2

Hi!

Hehe, nice one again, Cee. Your stories are truely entertaining! Are you sure you meant Xaver and not Viper? Don't know him though - was before my time here.

I'm surprised that all our heroic Raptor pilots got away without being noticed at the point where they were deciding about a spaceship pilot for that explo... ahem expedition! Lucky bastards we are, hehehe...

Coco.

Xaver is my real name

I will never call him Viper :p
Either fast or xaver :O

And GOD said "Let there be more work for Cee, for he would be the most useless clanmember otherwise".
The masses nodded in approval and the Van delivered God's word onto the people, spreading like a plague, it infected
everybody and led to a mass hysteria, forcing the Cee to somehow patch up what he wrote before and
beat some sense into the senselessness of humanity. The Cee rose up, sat back down and put hands on the keyboard to
do, what nobody else was capable of doing : Crap.
This beautiful introductional piece was sponsored by the league of writers who are forced to write despite
clearly being out of any ideas whatsoever (a.k.a. Hollywood).
Lets pick up the pieces and see where we were... Ah yes...Space... Wolfs flying machine..Taz and camels.. Shoelace
Monsters ?? Van being rattled again..Ramses on her trail..Xaver on the comm..All set, lets go

One whole year passed until the TCP folk in their castle managed to finally get enough people to show up at once
to enable a proper starting of the FLYING MACHINE. Some were about to leave again, others muttered something that sounded like "Training bah"
and even more others simply defected to other kingdoms.
"Can you feel the excitement in the air, fellow subjects ?", asked the King, sitting on his throne made of empty barrels.
The masses shuffled their feet and grumbled about not having much time, needing their sleep and generally being displeased by
the obvious lack of leadership displayed by their leader.
"I'm not sure if 3 are really enough for the FLYING MACHINE. We could run into unexpected troubles, even though my design
SHOULD BE FOOLPROOF. Let me make sure and roll my 12 sided dice again...AHA, the Dungeon Master says, that we need at
least 5 vic..torious, stu...pendous...men..women..or whatever is available to us". The Wolf looked around, scouting for another careless victim
which could easily be fooled into joining this dangerous and yet useless mission to pacify the whole universe with love and gentleness...
which was the plan until Van tagged along. "There must be someone else we can send..Someone I dont like.. Someone I dont want
around..Someone..disposable..", thought the Wolf whilst stroking his beard. Then all of a sudden he fell asleep.
"I gave him some K.O. pills. He will be part of the crew". Everybody turned their head and it was The Cee, standing there in all
his glory, butterflies surrounding his astonishingly beautiful exterior. Voice and Van fainted, the male members had to fight the urge to turn gay
on the spot and all the animals wished they would be human beings.
"Can we please wrap it up already ? This is taking way too long, bores everybody and serves no function, because it will take another year
to continue the whole ordeals anyways. Just shoot a bunch of random guys into space and BE DONE WITH IT". Van grabbed a few random tcps by the neck
and dragged them into the ship, alongside the sleeping Wolf, the fearless Ramses and the girlish Xaver.
The drunk king rose from his throne and spoke these words of support : "Now is the time to address those brave members, who oh so selflessly agreed to embark on this dangerous... SHOOT THE DAMN THING INTO SPACE ALREADY"
There was a rumbling, a grumbling, a bumbling of a bee and the thing lift off the ground and flew up..up..upppppwards into the sky..free as a bird..until it went
crashing down, breaking apart and ending up as a heap of junk on the ground. Nobody really got hurt, except for the guys who no longer are in tcp. They all
tragically died in the accident (Taz did survive..yes, he was on board..no, he didnt bring the virgins, because they dumped him for some cooler Christian guy..
yes, he wanted to bring the camels, but there were "no smoking" signs all over the place...duh). Now witness the following dialogue in its pure dialogueness.

Xaver : Is this space ? It looks so different..magical really.. Kind of like an anime. Just look at those tall green things, its amazing.
Ramses : Those are trees. Do you ever leave your room at home ?
Xaver : (ignoring the question asked) Trees...wow..I've heard stories, but never imagined this..I mean..WOW..
Wolf : Wha...Why..Why am I here ? Did I drink too much again ? I need to go to bed soon for work..Damn work.. I hate work..I hate life..Damn
Ramses : Good to see you back in high spirits.
Wolf : You talking to me ? Wheres the mute button..geez..How do I open the console ? Where is my 12 sided dice ? GODDAMNIT !
Taz : Allah be praised, we are safe. His powers are mysterious and good. Let me roll out my carpet to pray towards..Do we have a Mecca here ?
Wolf : There is no God, kid. And humans suck too. Shit.
Van : I NEED TO KILL SOMETHING OR ELSE.. !!
Ramses : Hehe, glad you're okay too, Van
Van : Stuff it, Hippie. We need food to survive..meat..fresh meat..and something to drink..blood..or water, if blood isnt an option.
Kobra : Why am I on this ship ? I-- (sound of a throat being cut)
Van : Okay, we have food and drink. I remember this place, I've been here before with Ramses. Its the forest of sludge, where tiny imps try to shoot
you with their slime guns and turn you into one of them. OH NO, THEY ALREADY GOT ONE OF US !!
Ramses : No, Van.. Thats no Imp, thats Cloud.
Van : I dont like it, TAKE IT AWAY !!
Cloud : I have no dialogue in this scene.

And on and on it continued. They scavenged all useful parts from the ship and built a little tent for Van. The rest of the guys took shelter in a nearby cave, where
another ex-member was being "removed" and used for "survival".
"The whole mission is a failure. We wanted to bring peace and instead we landed back on our shitty planet. There goes my hope for a new and better life". Wolf
took a swig from his emergency 10L bottle of alcoholic goodness and scratched some obscene drawings into the stone walls of the cave.
"I feel a bit bummed about not being able to pray towards Mecca. Allah might not be too pleased about me not using my carpet correctly", Taz said and got punched by Wolf.
"THERE IS NO GOD ! Give me proof and I might believe you..Show me something that only a God could create".
Immediately after the end of the sentence, a bright light flooded the cave and a person approached the weary bunch o'guys.
"I am here to help you. My advice is going to improve your lives and help you in situations like this. Do not doubt me".
"There IS a God", mumbled Wolf, shielding his eyes from the burning bright light.
"Yes, I-". The light suddenly disappeared and complete and utter darkness returned like an unwanted visitor who only comes over to eat your food, watch stuff
on your TV and ditch the unwashed dishes he leaves behind. "Ah, that was our last flashlight. We might be doomed and helpless in the night, but at least I made good use of it."
It was The Cee, most beloved member of the team, despite the fact, that Wolf was trying to choke the living hell out of him in this situation.

And with this serene scene we cut away from this thrilling turn of events to look what went down in the castle.
"They didnt make it, they crashed somewhere to the South"
"Oh no, what can be done ?"
"We need to send help !"
"Lets send a rescue team to get them back home safely"
Those are the things you would expect to hear from a leader, but only if you didnt know King Car. Upon getting informed
of the crash, he got off his throne, swiped the cookie crumbs off his royal underpants and proclaimed :
"This is serious and I have the solution already worked out. I want to get married ! Any girls in the clan ?"
"Yeah, we have this here..Voice..Shes able, capable and unwilling.. But 2 out of 3 arent bad", replied Zoni.
"COMMENCE THE MARRIAGE and then we can think about those crashed fools in the south. Serves them well to try to go against the laws
of nature and pys..phsys...psyhic...that stuff Newton made up".
"But it was your idea, Car..King..Car...", said Coco.
"There you go.. They should have known better. I probably was sober back then..Well, lets get going !"

And so they went and got ready for some sort of bizarre marriage while the other tcps were still stuck in the forest
of sludge. Tragic ? Yes ! Sad ? Yes ! The End ? Definitely not, but as always another year has to pass for anything to happen, because
those are the laws of TCP :p
Will the crashed guys survive ? Will Car really marry ? Will the Voice learn how to cook ? Why is this story even worse
than the one before ? Why cant I do something about animals or flowers and little pink bunnies ? And why do you even have the
time to read this, even though its just a waste of time ? I clearly do not know :O

There, even less effort put in, but still twice as long as the one before :O
I need to play more to see what ppl commonly do :p

Van is scary...

Ave


hahahaha nice one